I`ve been on a bit of a self-improvement kick lately, which makes me sound both healthier and stuffier than I really am. Truth is, I took this huge chance a few months back packing up my stuff and my dog to move across the ocean from Norway to Dallas. And although parts of my life in Dallas, like acting in movies and spending evenings at Walmart (we don’t have anything remotely like it in Norway, so hold your judgement please), truth is it was one of the hardest experiences of my life. I have a lot of family in DFW, and they`re not all the best people, though luckily some of them are. In general Texans are very different from Norwegians. My dad was like “told you, why do you think I moved all the way to NY?”. But I guess I had to see it for myself.

Long story short, I returned to Norway somewhat with my tail between my legs, feeling anxious, embarrassed, traumatized, depressed, tired and shitty. I didn`t want to meet anyone and let them know what happened, or even that I was back in the country. Instead, I self-isolated and tried to cope. Badly, of course.

Every time I felt the feelings of despair, depression, and anxiety creep up on me, I`d distract myself as quickly as possible. And what`s quicker and easier that a short TikTok designed to overload your senses and make your brain produce dopamine?

To tell you the truth, I`ve always been skeptical towards social media. I know that scrolling lights up the same part of our brains as cocaine and gambling. I know that we fall into comparison traps and that we feel increasingly anxious posting on more local platforms like Instagram as time goes by and it becomes a bigger part of our culture, and I know that TikTok messes with our attention spans.

PS. Before we get further into this post, let me just share with you that if you just want to get to the root of the information, gain some scientific knowledge and a step-by-step social media detox guide, here`s a YouTube video that delivers exactly that. My blog however is a bit more personal and rambly. So know ya now.

Moving on. The point is, I know all of this. So well. Even that it can not only increase depression, but even cause it as well. And still I used it. Because even though I`ve deleted Snapchat countless of times, turned of notifications and blocked people for years, I don’t think I truly understood just how damaging social media could be, even with the precautions of blocking and turning of notifications, until I found myself tired, lonely, depressed and with bad skin and TikTok songs on my brain.

I just realized that “hey, TikTok is ruining my focus and I`m using it to cope with my anxiety, and Instagram is making me feel like absolute shit. Like everyone`s got it all together and I`m just some failure. Fuck this.”. I deleted the apps in early December. Oncs Christmas rolled around, they weren’t even on my mind anymore.

But not only that. My skin cleared up. I was working out more and getting out of bed in the morning. And all of the trauma of Dallas that had been plaguing me was being released, simply because I had no other choice than to face it and work through it once I couldn’t pull up TikTok and distract myself every time an unwanted thought entered my head. And honestly, I felt so free. I still do.

If I`m being more honest, I don’t think I would’ve had the time to start blogging again if I were still spending hours trying to create the perfect Instagram feed or study TikTok trends to find the right ones to jump on. That would truly have been my loss. It is so much nicer to sit here and write exactly what I feel, no curation, no filter, and not have to worry about “trends”, but rather the truth.

That being said, here are two methods for quitting social media. You can do one or both. Personally I recommend to do Method 1 first and then follow up with Method 2. I`m actually currently working on a downloadable workbook that combines these in a 100 day digital detox guide, so stay tuned for that.

Method 1: Quitting cold turkey

This is probably the most popular method and the one you`ll see the most videos on. Personally I think all those “I quit social media for 30 days and this is what happened” video`s are popping off for the simple reason that we`re all addicted and have at least some curiosity towards quitting, if not a full blown desire.

I prefer this method for two reasons. A) I`m an all or nothing person, a little quickly turns into a lot, so I prefer a hard line. B) Doing these makes it apparent how often we actually think about social media, i.e. how “bad” the addiction truly is.

How to quit

First, let the people you communicate on social media with the most let you know that you`re taking a break, so that you don’t accidentally hurt anyone or use “oh, I have to check so they don’t get sad that I don’t respond to the memes.” as an excuse. Secondly, delete the apps. After this you`ll have a void of both time and the emotions you`ve been putting off that you need to find solutions for. That`s why before you do step 1 and 2, you should actually write a list of around 15-30 actions you can take if you`re bored, stressed, anxious, depressed, awkward or whatever. For example walk, work out, draw, paint, call a friend, read, watch a movie, go to the park, hang out with your dog, take a bath, bake, learn something new, etc.

For a while you`ll notice that you`ll try to open the apps, even though they`re not there. But trust me, nothing beats the feeling when you realize that you haven’t even thought about them for weeks.

For when you`ve completed your detox.

Method 2: Major cuts

Again, this method is probably best as a follow up to the first one. However if you don’t have a strong phone or social media addiction, or if you need the apps for work, this might be the right approach for you. Either and/or, cut out most of the apps or decide a certain timeframe that you`re allowed to use the apps. For cutting out the apps there are two categories, and you should be cutting in both. A) The apps you`re most addicted to. F.ex. for me that would be TikTok as I clearly used it as a security blanket for my anxiety. B) The platforms you really don’t need or like as much as the others. In other words, the platform(s) that give you the least value. For me that would be snapchat, as I could care less what a girl I met at a party once had for lunch.

PS. If this blog post is giving you value, please hit the follow button. And consider signing up for my email list. For a limited time you`ll get a FREE That Girl Planner and Habit Tracker, and I`ll send you content that`ll empower you through knowledge and motivation weekly (but like, in a cool and fun way.)

Furthermore, try to use social media very consciously. Decide why you`re going on the platform (for example to answer messages or post a specific piece of content), and then get in and get out.

If you try method 2 and it doesn’t yield the results you want, then definitely try cold turkey.

Longterm

Honestly, after having taken a break for social media, we usually see the bad more than the good and automatically get a bit more conscious about our use. However, always monitor your own behavior and try to keep an eye out for any bad habits you might be slipping back into. And remember, you can always do another detox!

By the way, if you want to distract yourself, and work on improving your life at the same time while social media detoxing, Ive been obsessed with Atomic Habits by James Clear lately and it`s really improved my life.

If you have Audible, you can get it for free with a credit here. If not you should definitely consider signing up. Otherwise you can get a hard cover here or a pocket here.

Either way, if you click on one of these links, I`ll (to know greater cost to you), get a small comission which helps support my business, so that I can keep providing you with free content. Also feel free to check out my own digital self help products. ❤ Digital Products

That`s it for now. Hope you got value from it and I`ll talk to you again tomorrow.

Love ya!

Zoë